


liminal space

by heibai



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Ambiguous Relationships, Angst?????, Donghyu(c)k is a sad case, Donghyuk is a little shit but he's my little shit, M/M, almost alcoholics, chip shop romance, the dread of early twenties, the kids are aged up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-12-22 00:46:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11956197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heibai/pseuds/heibai
Summary: The dissolution of order. The void in between.Donghyuk was stuck between one page of his life to the nextand he clung to everything else but the obvious."you are the only person who can keep up with my shitty, needy, selfish self for more than four months at a time so I mean… why not?"





	liminal space

**Author's Note:**

> //This is a continuation of my ["the Coffee Slut and the Tea Wench"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11576868/chapters/26014032) story. It's a completely different storyline so you don't need to read that (although if you love hopeless pinings and hs!AU and NoRen then pls do check it out hoHOHO)//
> 
> as you can see the kids will have their age jacked up and so the themes in the upcoming chapters will be slightly heavier (although it won't be too heavy)

Life goes on, but friendship remains.

 

At least that’s what Donghyuk hoped would happen.

 

But that thought seemed to be slipping out of his mind the more idle it became, as he was mother-henning the ridiculous hill made out of suitcases and cardboard boxes in the corner of a busy airport, while the lovebirds were somehow missing from their nest. Where did they go and what were they doing, nobody knew.

 

They should be thankful he was more inclined to act like a placement tag than say… a cuckoo. Or a cowbird.

 

He knew which one of these suitcases contained one of Renjun’s prized gold trimmed fishbowl (of course, because he was there when Renjun packed it). What a tragedy it’ll be if he _“accidentally”_ tripped and _“accidentally”_ caused the suitcase to drop from its place near the top of the pile. (“Those succulents don’t have the brain to understand the difference between a plain cup and a gold lined cup,” Donghyuk remembered the day they got the useless thing, when he yelled at Renjun because the kid couldn’t seem to make his mind on which fishbowl he wanted to buy for his room decoration.

 

He also remembered how he almost stormed out of the tiny novelty-slash-hipster-y shop when Renjun pouted at him and whispered, “ _L'esthétique._ ”)

 

Donghyuk once again sighed, probably the fifth time he’d done so in the last ten minutes.

 

Renjun’s parents were off, somewhere. Probably buying the promised refreshments because as usual, his father was being a little paranoid and forced the group to go to the airport as soon as possible. Now they were essentially stranded on the building three hours far too early and as consolation he promised to buy everyone a cup of those fancy frappuccinos while they wait for the boarding hour to come.

 

Jeno’s parents were also nowhere to be found. Taking Jaemin with them because _Donghyuk_ was stupid enough to forget to bring their surprise farewell gift.

 

So they had to do a quick detour back to his house in order to retrieve said gift.

 

Okay. So it _was_ actually his fault that he got nobody to talk to at that moment. But Donghyuk being Donghyuk, it’ll take much more than a debilitating sense of boredom to admit that he was in the wrong.

 

(“I mean, _you_ promised to remind me in the morning.”

 

In response to that, Jaemin gave him an exasperated grunt, “I hate you so much right now.”)

 

Renjun was going to China, Guangzhou to be exact, a partial scholarship to this one university with the best name in the whole entire world. “South China Normal University.” They know their brand and they don’t bother to lie about it.

 

(“So, is there a South China _Extraordinary_ University?”

 

Donghyuk didn’t understand why Renjun would hit his arm so hard just because he asked one innocent question. He _was_ genuinely curious, and is that wrong? Take a look at that name and tell me you couldn’t stop yourself from wondering all the same.

 

“Obviously _not_.” Renjun spat back at him in a tone heavily implying that he was utterly done with Donghyuk’s stupid antics.

 

Oh, all the wasted potential.)

 

Jeno got a spot in the prestigious Hong Kong University. Although of course that lame guy tried to underplay his achievement by saying _‘hey, at least I couldn’t make it to the Science and Tech one’._ So shamefully lame.

 

Fate seemed to always be on the good side of the two lovebirds because they totally didn’t plan it to happen this way, separated only with a measly one hour train ride. Donghyuk remembered when Renjun moped and sulked on his bed a month after they all finished sending off their application letters, not caring that he might’ve drooled some of his saliva on Donghyuk’s prized stuffed animal as he worried about _‘what if we only got accepted to places at the other ends of the world.’_ Because he applied to this one obscure university in the middle of a small town in Germany and Jeno to one in Singapore.

 

But no. Fate somehow said _‘you know what, I’ll be nice for once’_ and they got accepted to well, admittedly _not_ their first choices, but their best option yet. Imagine. Out of all possibilities, they got sorted into places where only one hour of train ride separated the two of them. Now look at them, off to spend one week on sunny Hong Kong for a well-deserved holiday _sans adult supervision_ before they have to settle in on their new life.

 

And then there was Donghyuk (and Jaemin too, to an extent, because _at least_ that boy got into his first choice) who ended up at a university just 30 minutes away from their houses, studying business management, out of all majors.

 

Ironic how he wasn’t the one who got accepted to a ‘Normal’ university, but Donghyuk has never felt more… painfully normal than at that moment, mother-henning for his friends’ luggages as they seem to be paving the road for their future with a really sturdy concrete mix.

 

While his was made out of mere rickety wooden planks.

 

“If you daydream too hard you’ll slip into the astral plane, you know?” Jaemin was suddenly hovering over him, tapping his shoulder with the butt of the plastic coffee cup and causing more than a few droplets of water to stain his shirt.

 

“Maybe that’s what I was trying to do,” Donghyuk snatched the iced coffee from his hand and gave it a long sip, “and you perfectly ruined my path to enlightenment.”

 

Not only a glass of coffee, Jaemin also dropped the nicely wrapped gift on Donghyuk’s lap. “You give it to them.”

 

He was just about to protest that because Jaemin was the one who _bought_ the gifts, then he should be one who _give_ the gifts, when he saw Renjun and Jeno practically skipping their way back to the bench where he’s been waiting for the last 30 minutes.

 

“What’s that.” Of course it would be Jeno who first noticed the shiny box. The kid is a humanised version of bowerbirds and his choice of material to build his cheesy lovenest is colourful wrapping papers. “Is that for us?”

 

(Donghyuk believed somewhere in Jaemin’s many notebooks, they could still find the timestamp of when Renjun and Jeno stopped acting like normal people and started referring to themselves as a plural unit. Also known as the start of the age of cringe.)

 

Jaemin gave his sides a sharp nudge with his incredibly boney elbow and it was all it took for Donghyuk to hand the gift over.

 

“Wasn’t hard, isn’t it?” He could hear Jaemin’s amused whisper as they both witnessed the clumsy couple trying their best to unwrap the present without unnecessarily destroying the fancy wrapper. But of course, _world’s-best-best-friend_ Jaemin knew of their tendency to be so extra with their fixation over silly, pretty trinkets, that he made sure to use the weakest tape available to secure all ends carefully around the gift.

 

Jeno shimmied the lid of the box off to find an empty scrapbook, polaroid refills, and a pack of striped, colourful washi tapes, because by this point, who doesn’t know that Mr. Huang _“Number-one-Bront_ _ë_ _-Sisters’-Fan”_ Renjun is a sucker for those kind of sentimental things.

 

“Oh my god this is PERFECT.” Renjun’s eyes would’ve popped out of their socket if he opened it up any more wider. A good thing Jaemin decided not to give them the pack of jelly pens because man, starting university blind will _not_ be a good experience.

 

Renjun then proceeded to rummage through his backpack. Things could be heard clacking here and there before he fished out his way too fancy polaroid camera and started waving it around with a bit too much enthusiasm, “let’s finish the films I have in here.”

 

Renjun first took one picture of both of their parents who were sitting and chatting at the bench right behind them. No countdown, no nothing, only a quiet snap because he was highkey obsessed with candid photographs. (His dad managed to snuck in a peace sign though, much to the embarrassment of his mom.)

 

Then Renjun took a quick picture of Jeno, caught unsuspectingly when he was taking a sip of his hot coffee. From how he slightly shoved Renjun away, Jeno appeared to be a bit annoyed by that abrupt gesture. But who was he kidding. Renjun could’ve pressed the shutter just as Jeno was sneezing and the picture would’ve still come out beautiful.

 

The third one was of Jaemin and Donghyuk, of course. And as they both knew what was coming, they managed to struck a silly pose. Duck lips and signal signs, anything lame enough to annoy the shit out of their photographer.

 

“Guys. Seriously.” Renjun sneered as he pulled out the film from the slot with far too much force than what was necessary, “just act natural.”

 

“Well, I’m sad to break this news to you, but Jaemin’s duck lips are totally _au naturel_.”

 

That insult brought upon Donghyuk a sharp slap on his arm. But that insult also brought upon the group a loud, free laughter. And wasn’t _that_ a thing that they all needed at that moment?

 

(Renjun managed to capture a shot of Jaemin and Donghyuk as they were laughing. Eyes squeezed shut and head thrown back in a pure, unrestrained display of happiness. Much better than their silly horned duckbills, in his opinion.)

 

With laughters and mindless chats (and waiting in a long line to check in the pair’s gazillion luggages), three hours flew by just as quick as Renjun’s polaroid camera’s flash. There it was, over the PA system. Their boarding gate was opened. The four of them didn’t notice they were holding their breath until the mechanical sound of the PA lady ceased to echo around the main hall of the airport.

 

As they all let out a long sigh bitter realization, Donghyuk could see it in everybody’s eyes. Apprehension. A tiny tint of fear. Unwillingness?

 

(And excitement too, especially in Renjun and Jeno’s eyes. The buzzing sense of wonderment and adventure trickling through their veins.)

 

Without anybody noticing, it was suddenly already time to say goodbye. The dreaded. The nightmarish. The thing Donghyuk tried so hard to avoid that even now he still hasn’t paid his share for their farewell gift.

 

Jaemin bought the assortment of scrapbooking materials almost two months ago and Donghyuk still hasn’t paid him back. A part of him convinced him that it was because he was unwilling to let go of his money for such trivial things, but another part of him, the one that whispered such insulting words such as _‘cry now cry when they hug you for the last time’_ or _‘cry now cry because you won’t see them for the next five months’,_ alerted him of a more prominent reason behind why he wasn’t willing to pay Jaemin back.

 

He wasn’t willing to say his farewells.

 

Or probably to grow up, because he _earned_ that money he saved to buy Renjun and Jeno’s farewell gift from his part time stint at the grocery store near his home.

 

Same difference.

 

“I will miss you.”

 

Renjun didn’t even try to hide his tears when he came to hug Donghyuk. His tears rubbing onto Donghyuk’s face when he kept on blubbering and touching and kissing his cheeks in between frantic hugs. Made it look like he was crying _himself._

 

“You’ll get a headache later if you cry this hard.”

 

The only thing that would mask his immense effort of keeping his tears at bay was laughter, and smiles, and snarky quips, so Donghyuk tried his best to swallow the lump at the back of his throat and shoved Renjun down the line to Jaemin’s expecting arms.

 

Jeno’s farewell was a much less painful ordeal. Probably because they’ve only became closer in the last year and a half, almost two years.

 

And the fact that Jeno wasn’t crying his heart out, as if that day was the last day the earth rotates, also acted as a major contributor on making this goodbye a much more bearable experience to go through.

 

“I’ll miss you too,” this time it was Donghyuk’s turn to state the obvious, “take care of him for me.”

 

More like _‘for us,’_ but Donghyuk was sure he’s heard the same speech, with only a tiny bit of deviation in the choice of words, from every single person of Renjun’s family members + Jaemin + Jeno’s own mother who has seemingly adopted Renjun as her son. Donghyuk being a little bit selfish on his wishes shouldn’t be a bad thing.

 

“Of course I will.”

 

Their hug was slightly awkward, and lingered for a few seconds too long that when they parted and Donghyuk heard the tail of his faint _‘thankyou’_ before Jeno ran to his parents for one last wish of good luck, Donghyuk could only let out one long, relieved sigh.

 

His eyes found Jaemin’s after all that exhausting mental torture, and it seemed that he wasn’t alone in his struggles.

 

“What,” Jaemin quipped at him. There was a waver at the end of his voice and Donghyuk wondered if it was caused by either 1). A laughter waiting to be let out 2). Pent up tears 3). Him using the palm of his hand to wipe off Renjun’s tears from his cheeks.

 

“What _what_.”

 

Apparently the answer is 1).

 

Jaemin let out a gigglish laughter as he grabbed Donghyuk by his sleeves and dragged him back to the center of this mess. Right on time too, because the lovebirds have just picked up their bags and were walking to the point of no return.

 

Also known as the immigration gate.

 

They all waved and blew hand kisses from the side of the walkway until both parties couldn’t see the other any longer, ignoring the stares other travellers were giving them. Most of those stares were endearing, though, because they understood. They should’ve understand. Because farewells are not the easiest thing to do in this world. Alright, so maybe people would judge them because it only took approximately four hours of flight to go from Seoul to Hong Kong/Guangzhou and it wasn’t as if they were going to be separated by two oceans and three great continents or something. But still. The lovebirds were leaving their nest and four hours flight or fourteen, it was just as equally _painful_.

 

Donghyuk waited beside Jaemin and his ‘uncles and aunties’ (not by blood, obviously, if it wasn’t clear by now, but considering how often they found the two kids in their houses, they somehow decided to… reluctantly adopted everyone in) for another couple of minutes to make sure nobody would suddenly pop out of the bend for one last tearful hug.

 

It didn’t happen, thankfully. Because if that happened, Donghyuk wasn’t sure if he could withstand another round of his heart being wrenched dry.

 

Not long after, they all got a short text saying that they have arrived in the boarding gate, safe and sound and only with a little bit more tear shedding and thus the entourage began to disperse.

 

“Are you coming home with us?” Jaemin, poor Jaemin and his poorly masked moistened eyes asked Donghyuk as if it was just another normal Wednesday and he was offering him an umbrella to walk home with on a rainy afternoon.

 

“I have to meet someone in the city.” He quickly regretted saying that because no matter how fleeting, Donghyuk saw the glimpse of realisation on Jaemin’s eye. Realisation and resignation, that everyone has started to have a life of their own and afternoons are no longer exclusively spent in one of their rooms, playing games or studying until their parents called, reminding them to return home before they forgot how to. “I’ll take the bus. Don’t worry.”

 

“You know I never worry about you.” But Jaemin’s next action betrayed his words. After quickly exchanging words with Renjun’s parents, Donghyuk found himself being accompanied on his short walk to the bus terminals.

 

“Only us left,” Jaemin mumbled, the little smile on his lips looking more like a grimace than a grin. “I’m glad it’s us though. Imagine if you’re the one stuck with Jeno.”

 

That statement was enough to cause them to let out a genuine laughter that bubbled from the bottom of their bellies, a way to spill out all of the anxieties and sadness that’d riddled their mind since the start of the day.

 

“That’ll make for an interesting year indeed.”

 

Interesting because he’ll probably feel the glaring, all knowing eyes of Renjun constantly burning holes on his back as he believed that Donghyuk will do nothing but corrupt his pure little dove. And to that Donghyuk said, _‘chaos is a two way street.’_ If the other party was not willing to cooperate, the true potential for any mischief won’t be achieved and well, what’s the fun in that. Jeno has always been far too dignified to ever fully indulge in any of Donghyuk’s machinations anyway. Jaemin, on the other hand...

 

“Who are you meeting up with?” Jaemin finally asked the burning question once Donghyuk had one of his foot on the steps of the bus.

 

“Someone.” By the way he smirked and squinted his eyes, Donghyuk knew Jaemin was not satisfied with such cryptic answer. It didn’t take long for him to give up and spill the bean. Nobody could ever keep a secret around Jaemin and his knowing smirks. His sweat seemed to be made out of droplets of veritaserum. “Mark, it’s Mark.”

 

“He’s gonna introduce me to one of his university friend.” Donghyuk quickly added when Jaemin’s inquiring expression turned into one that screamed of confusion and _‘what the hell.’_

 

“Oh… that’s…”

 

“Awkward?” He didn’t mean to put his own word into Jaemin’s mouth but anyone, _anyone_ in this world will probably choose the same emotion that he did when asked to describe a feeling related to _‘meeting up with an ex so said ex can introduce you to one of his friend as a potential romantic partner.’_

 

“I’d imagine it so.” Jaemin never believed him when Donghyuk said that he and Mark are amicable exes. Saying, ‘ _there’s no such thing as amicable exes.’_

 

Well, him and Mark were just that.

 

“Be safe then,” with a few pats in the back he sent Donghyuk away when they both hear the bus’ engine running to life, “call me if you need anything.”

 

“And you said you never worry about me.”

 

Donghyuk swore he could hear the unmistakable sound of Jaemin’s scoff even as the doors were shut in front of his face, unceremoniously cutting short his little mutterings of endearment towards Donghyuk.

 

It was _‘you little shit,’_ if anyone’s wondering.

 

To be honest, Donghyuk could’ve accepted Jaemin’s, and in extension, Renjun’s parents’ offer for a ride back home because his meeting with Mark won’t happen until 6 PM. It was only 10 AM in the morning.

 

He gave Jaemin a little wave as the bus was moving out of its parking spot and although it was less major than the one he just did inside the airport, it felt to him that he had another set of goodbyes forcefully taken away from his two hands. And he knew it, from the bottom of his heart, from the bottom of his little appendix. The moment when he decided to ride the bus instead of Renjun’s dad adorable little corolla, signified him crossing over _his own version_ of the point of no return, an un-backtrack-able narrative branch in his life, and ‘ _holy shit it’s terrifying.’_

 

He needed some time alone to process all these changes. Probably aimlessly staring out of strange bus routes and being emo as hell, or falling asleep in the city library waiting for dusk to come. Because why not.

 

Why the hell not.

 

**Author's Note:**

> idk why I wrote this and subject myself to SUCH pain  
> //EDIT 07072018// This story is discontinued :(( Enjoy this prologue for what it is!


End file.
